Always confused…

I needed this.

I needed to sit here and feel the sand beneath my feet, taste the salt in the air and let the breeze clear you from my thoughts.

My phone buzzed right before it died, you texted that you were on your way and apologized for being late. The screen went black before I could read the rest of it… I do miss you. I want to see you… but damn I’m so confused right now.

A couple is walking their dog along the waters edge. She’s splashing in the tide as is comes in and goes out, she’s just a pup and a cute one at that.

I wish my phone was charged. I feel the pull to text you back and tell you where I am, or to go back to the hotel and wait just a little longer for you. But no.

I’m not leaving this spot. Even if I just sit here and cry… I’m staying here…

The couple has walked so far down the beach I can’t see them anymore, but I can still hear the pup barking and playing in the distance.

I wonder what time it is? I have to have been here for at least a half hour or better.

My phone is still dead. Not sure why I even look at it, I know I haven’t charged it. I haven’t left this spot but to scoot back a little bit further from the tide.

I wish you’d just show up and hug me right now. Like you know me well enough to know that I would be here…

It’s so quiet right now.

Emma?

My heart just sunk and I think I’m going to be sick.

What are you doing out here?

Mike?!

I turned to look over my shoulder, and there he stood. His hands in the pocket of his hoodie and his shoulders slightly shrugged like he was feeling a little chilled, or nervous.

How? How did you know I was here?

I’m tossed between feeling scared and yet madly in love with the fact that you showed up and found me here.

He sat down beside me and pulled me close to him in one of those tight “I’ve got you” hugs that always make me melt to pieces with the feeling of safety and comfort.

I took a wrong turn and I saw your car while I was getting turned around. How come you’re not answering your phone? I tried to call you.

It died. And I forgot my charger. I inhaled his cologne as I squeezed his chest closer to me. Fuck.

He kissed my forehead.

So… what are you doing out here?

I don’t know. Honestly, I don’t know.

I moved back a bit to the spot I had been sitting in. As much as I want to stay curled up in his arms… I don’t think I can handle it right now.

Hey. I know. I know it’s not easy with us.

But damn Emma, I don’t want to be apart from you. I am happy with you. Do we need more than that?

Do we?

If only I could tell you why this is so hard for me. I want to tell you so much… but right now I just can’t.

But I can’t tell you that right now either… so I don’t.

~A.G~

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