Oh how I long for warmer days …

Morning, Evening or Afternoon world.

How is everyone on this chilly Sunday evening (or Monday when this goes live)?

I feel Mother Nature tricked me a bit this week, she gave NC a couple of beautiful days this past week, just to rip it away with some nasty 20 degree days this coming week.

Ugh! It’s cold. And I’m from the north darn it!

I haven’t been able to blog much these past few months, between work, holidays, my never-ending reading list and my current WIP… my days have been booked solid.

Plus, I honestly don’t know what the heck you guys care to read about? My life is pretty darn boring for the most part. But I’m trying to liven it up a bit for you 😜

So many great things coming this year.

I feel like 2020 is going to be a great year for a lot of people.

Already I’m seeing people making big changes, sticking to goals they set back in mid-2019 and reaping the benefits of their hard work 💜

I couldn’t feel more proud.

Go and Get It!

Let’s use this year to grab what we want and stop living in the fear that we’re not ready or we’re not good enough.

Stop the mental road block and just drive.

-Jen

I waited for you…

I waited for you.

And I told myself that that was the last time I would waste any more moments of my life waiting on you to show up and show me you give a crap about me.

But here I am again.  Waiting.  It’s been almost an hour and I haven’t heard anything from you.  I’ve been replaying last night. How you subtly brushed into me and slipped these keys into my hand and told me that you needed to see me. “I miss you, please.” You texted after you walked away. In that moment my mind ran from excitement to worry, from confusion to comfort…  And now I’m here again, confused, frustrated… hoping…waiting. I can’t convince myself to leave and stop waiting for you. Why can’t I leave you? Why can’t I leave you hanging on the thought that I didn’t show? God, that would be such karmic justice.

These damn keys. I spin them around on my finger until they fly off and fall to the floor board on the passenger side. Ugh!

I get out, go around the car and scoop up the keys. The sky is pitch black making the stars seem brighter than normal and the moon is so engorged I can feel it’s energy. Between the moon and the smell of sea salt in the air… damn you. I get back in the car and slam the door shut, I crack the windows to let the the salt air in and I sit back and I wait.    Lights flash into the parking lot, my heart skips a beat and my breath catches in my throat for split second. You’re here?.. It’s not you, the sedan parks and a couple gets out and carry’s their sleeping child into the hotel lobby.

And just like that, I feel broken. Like you have physically sliced into my heart and I just sit here bleeding. I let you do this, I gave you the power to make me feel small and insignificant.

But dammit! I do miss you. I feel so drawn to you, that I can’t sleep unless I pass out thinking of you beside me.

I’m getting anxious and it’s driving me to sickness, I can’t wait here like this. I turn on my headlights and pull out of the parking lot like I just murdered someone in one of the rooms.

Slow down Emma, you don’t need to bring attention to yourself.

What if you’re parking right now? What if you just passed me and your parking right now? NOPE! I’m not going to think about that, I’m going to keep driving. You’ve still not so much as texted me.

I park outside of a closed shop, I’m better off walking for a bit instead of driving like a mad women down the road. The last thing I need in my life right now is a speeding ticket or a night in jail. Besides that, the sound of the waves, the smell the of sea air and this beautiful sky is screaming for me to enjoy it. It’s calling me to get lost.

And that’s what I need right now… to be lost from you.

 

~A.G

 

 

The great Kindle mishap

Well, it’s finally working!!

Thanks to my brother getting bored and deciding to tinker with it ☺️

He managed to get it into a full reboot mode and then I just needed to set it back up and download all my books again.

Now I know whenever I’m having issues with an electronic device, just leave it somewhere my brother will see it and wait for him to get bored 😂

So now I can finally sit down and get started on The Dark Web Murders 🕷

Now on for some tea, a re-read over my current 15,000-word project and packing for this weekend 😊

I’m so happy with the things going on in my life right now. Certain aspects are nipping my heels and causing more stress than I care to deal with, but I’m use to the battle. It’s part of life.

Happy reading everyone!

\AG/

The reason why I prefer Real books over digital

This, this picture right here sums up my entire reason for being annoyed and making this blog post 😭

This darn Kindle has been on the fritz since last week!

I can’t get it to do anything except freeze on the start up screen 🤦🏻‍♀️

I hate ebooks. I really do.

I mean, I enjoy them when it comes to packing up and moving around, which I do a lot of. But I can’t and never will get over the enjoyment of browsing a bookstore and walking out with a heavy stack of brand new reads 😊

But this! Oh My God!

I bought my first ebook in months and can’t even begin to take a look at.

I know I could read it on my phone, but damn, aren’t we on the phone enough these days? Besides, I BOUGHT A KINDLE for that very reason! 😫

The frustration is real….

Eternal Youth

Don’t we all feel like living forever young at some point in our life?

Well guess what I’m doing? I’m sitting her in the 1950’s pretending I’ve bleached my hair so much that my brain cells have been damaged to the point that I have no answers for any questions that may come my way.

I’m physically having to sit on my hands and tell people “I’m sorry, I don’t know. You’ll have to ask someone else” simply because I’m being to bossy for those who’s egos are to frail to work as a team.

I am dumbstruck to the point of laughter lol

I’ve already been asked what’s wrong and have a handful of people thinking I’m now mad at them because I keep sending them elsewhere with their questions. 

“You don’t know? You never not know, and even when you really don’t know , you get me the answers faster than anyone else. so what did I do to piss you off into silence” 

Yes, normally I do.    I’m a busy bee, workaholic, I know how to ask questions and feel timeliness is important. If I don’t know the answer to something, I figure out who does or who would know and hit them for the info. Simple as that.

But that is over kill apparently.  And it is proving an extreme struggle to break everyone (including myself) of the habits we have become so use to. 

I can’t even ask someone to make sure they don’t forget something without being looked at like insolent women who’s speaking out of turn. LOL

And that’s my new thing now, I want a coffee mug that says “Insolent Women” just so I can display it on my desk 😉

 I am very opinionated, blunt and to the point in 90% of my life. We all know it’s 2019 and most people these days are to sensitive for straight forward talk, but you’d think there would still be a handful of people who could carry on adult conversation and not feel so threatened by straightforwardness.

So here I am, pretending I don’t care about a thing.  Pretending I am a shy, quiet female with no spine or knowledge of my surroundings. 

We’ll see how long this last.

 

\AG/