I waited for you…

I waited for you.

And I told myself that that was the last time I would waste any more moments of my life waiting on you to show up and show me you give a crap about me.

But here I am again.  Waiting.  It’s been almost an hour and I haven’t heard anything from you.  I’ve been replaying last night. How you subtly brushed into me and slipped these keys into my hand and told me that you needed to see me. “I miss you, please.” You texted after you walked away. In that moment my mind ran from excitement to worry, from confusion to comfort…  And now I’m here again, confused, frustrated… hoping…waiting. I can’t convince myself to leave and stop waiting for you. Why can’t I leave you? Why can’t I leave you hanging on the thought that I didn’t show? God, that would be such karmic justice.

These damn keys. I spin them around on my finger until they fly off and fall to the floor board on the passenger side. Ugh!

I get out, go around the car and scoop up the keys. The sky is pitch black making the stars seem brighter than normal and the moon is so engorged I can feel it’s energy. Between the moon and the smell of sea salt in the air… damn you. I get back in the car and slam the door shut, I crack the windows to let the the salt air in and I sit back and I wait.    Lights flash into the parking lot, my heart skips a beat and my breath catches in my throat for split second. You’re here?.. It’s not you, the sedan parks and a couple gets out and carry’s their sleeping child into the hotel lobby.

And just like that, I feel broken. Like you have physically sliced into my heart and I just sit here bleeding. I let you do this, I gave you the power to make me feel small and insignificant.

But dammit! I do miss you. I feel so drawn to you, that I can’t sleep unless I pass out thinking of you beside me.

I’m getting anxious and it’s driving me to sickness, I can’t wait here like this. I turn on my headlights and pull out of the parking lot like I just murdered someone in one of the rooms.

Slow down Emma, you don’t need to bring attention to yourself.

What if you’re parking right now? What if you just passed me and your parking right now? NOPE! I’m not going to think about that, I’m going to keep driving. You’ve still not so much as texted me.

I park outside of a closed shop, I’m better off walking for a bit instead of driving like a mad women down the road. The last thing I need in my life right now is a speeding ticket or a night in jail. Besides that, the sound of the waves, the smell the of sea air and this beautiful sky is screaming for me to enjoy it. It’s calling me to get lost.

And that’s what I need right now… to be lost from you.

 

~A.G

 

 

Work day with mom and a check up!

So here we are again, Baby Bella (who isn’t so much a baby anymore) spent the day with me at work again  😊 It’s been so long since I’ve taken her with me! 

She was the image of a perfect lady (for the most part lol) and she got a chance to meet her new sister, which is the new pit puppy of one of my coworkers 💜🐶

Hopefully they will become better friends once the new pup isn’t so nervous around a bigger pup ☺️

As for her check up… it went differently than I had hoped. But not as bad as I worried. 

We’ve been battling UTI’s and hormone issues since I adopted her, along with her abnormal front leg (which thankfully causes her no issues).  This last month she has been doing really well in the UTI department and off medications for the whole month 🙌🏼😊

But, unfortunately we’re not out of the woods yet.   Yes, her UTI’s have cleared and her bladder seems to be in tip top shape! But now it’s her lady bits that are causing an issue and requiring more hormones and possible medications to correct … 😑 sigh. 


Tomorrow I will be consulting with a supplement company that my clinic works with very closely and hopefully finding something that could prove helpful to her vs on going medications. 

Oh the issues with spaying a girl to young 😥 she’s being a trooper with all of this. But it breaks my heart to think this could all be due to early spaying. 

I understand the counties reasoning for doing so, but I wish there was a way I could have signed something promising to do so when she was of age. Or had my veterinary sign something for me…

But we can’t change the past, all we can do is work to create a better future. 

Now, please don’t take this as a reason to not adopt a pet. Far from that! 

Take this as one of the reasons why pets should be adopted from shelters! So they can have a loving home that will help them with whatever they need. 

I mean, who knows what would have happened to her if I hadn’t found her? Would she have been dumped again for urinating all over the house? 

Would it have all gone unnoticed and she would have been in pain, living with an infection that kept getting worse?

Who knows. 🤷🏻‍♀️ Maybe someone like me would have gotten her and she would be right where she is now, getting the medical care she needs and a little extra TLC.

It’s hard to say what the outcome would have been.  But I am glad she’s with me and I’m able to help her through all this 💜

The puppy diaries