I waited for you…

I waited for you.

And I told myself that that was the last time I would waste any more moments of my life waiting on you to show up and show me you give a crap about me.

But here I am again.  Waiting.  It’s been almost an hour and I haven’t heard anything from you.  I’ve been replaying last night. How you subtly brushed into me and slipped these keys into my hand and told me that you needed to see me. “I miss you, please.” You texted after you walked away. In that moment my mind ran from excitement to worry, from confusion to comfort…  And now I’m here again, confused, frustrated… hoping…waiting. I can’t convince myself to leave and stop waiting for you. Why can’t I leave you? Why can’t I leave you hanging on the thought that I didn’t show? God, that would be such karmic justice.

These damn keys. I spin them around on my finger until they fly off and fall to the floor board on the passenger side. Ugh!

I get out, go around the car and scoop up the keys. The sky is pitch black making the stars seem brighter than normal and the moon is so engorged I can feel it’s energy. Between the moon and the smell of sea salt in the air… damn you. I get back in the car and slam the door shut, I crack the windows to let the the salt air in and I sit back and I wait.    Lights flash into the parking lot, my heart skips a beat and my breath catches in my throat for split second. You’re here?.. It’s not you, the sedan parks and a couple gets out and carry’s their sleeping child into the hotel lobby.

And just like that, I feel broken. Like you have physically sliced into my heart and I just sit here bleeding. I let you do this, I gave you the power to make me feel small and insignificant.

But dammit! I do miss you. I feel so drawn to you, that I can’t sleep unless I pass out thinking of you beside me.

I’m getting anxious and it’s driving me to sickness, I can’t wait here like this. I turn on my headlights and pull out of the parking lot like I just murdered someone in one of the rooms.

Slow down Emma, you don’t need to bring attention to yourself.

What if you’re parking right now? What if you just passed me and your parking right now? NOPE! I’m not going to think about that, I’m going to keep driving. You’ve still not so much as texted me.

I park outside of a closed shop, I’m better off walking for a bit instead of driving like a mad women down the road. The last thing I need in my life right now is a speeding ticket or a night in jail. Besides that, the sound of the waves, the smell the of sea air and this beautiful sky is screaming for me to enjoy it. It’s calling me to get lost.

And that’s what I need right now… to be lost from you.

 

~A.G

 

 

I support the World Wildlife fund 💕

@world_wildlife 🐋

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My grandparents have been donating to the World wildlife fund for as long as I can remember. We get all our new calendars from the collection my grandma receives every year 😊

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🐯 As for me, I’ve been donating to them and signing petitions since my very first job. The most satisfying place I spend my money (besides the book store 😂).

I like knowing I’m helping and making a difference in the world.

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Normally, I stick to maximising my donation as much as possible and always opt out of the additional “Thank You” gifts. But I’m human, and I love stuffed animals, so every now and then I select a few to receive.

But Bruiser likes a soft plush as much as his mommy does, so I opted to share my April donation with him this time😊

The The World Wildlife Fund is still looking for a few more donations by tomorrow April 22- Earth Day.

If your feeling giving today, help us reach our goal of $3,200 members.

We’re only 38 members away!

Even if you don’t join by tomorrow, give donating a little thought.

We only have one world.

And these animals don’t have a voice.

We’re the only ones who can make a difference

Jen

Bruiser Woods

I figured it was about time I give my little traveling companion a proper debut 💕

This little burst of energy is a 4lb chihuahua that joined my team right before I left SC and headed to NC for work 😊

He’s only 3(ish) months old, travels like a champ, and is still perfecting the potty pad training.

Be very prepared for lots of pictures 💕😊

I think he makes a great comfort pup for those uncomfortable meetings on performance and punch list items 💁🏻‍♀️

Our little “comfort pup” 😉

-Jen

We’re only here for a short time…

So why not make the most of it?

It’s definitely time to stop living in someone else’s shadow, or in fear of being judged harshly and treated poorly.

Seriously, life is about rejections and growth.

Life is about learning from your mistakes and coming out stronger in the end.

It’s time to take a stand in your own life and do the things you’re afraid of.

Really! We only have a short time on this earth and honestly, even that isn’t promised to us. Heck, I could fall asleep in the next five minutes and never wake back up.

We’re not promised a damn thing in this world. Or owed anything either.

If you want something badly enough, go out and make it happen.

You want to be a writer?

Then write!

You want to be published??

Then get out there and set yourself up for a couple dozen rejections and don’t stop there!

Or better yet, research the self publishing world and try that on for size 🤷🏻‍♀️

A lot is changing for me over the next two months and I’m both excited and nervous as hell for it. And I’ll be sharing every moment with all of you 💕

Jen

Traveling, life and writing

I’ve actually been writing a blog post everyday this past month and saving them in my drafts file until I’ve had the time to properly edit them.  I’m aiming to post something each day during November, some will be life related and or course, writing through NaNoWriMo . 

We’re so close to Nanowrimo that I’m getting all the feels as October comes closer to an end.  

Have you decided if you’re tackling the challenge yet?

If so, have you declared your novel already?

The first year that I joined the 50,000 word mark, I did it all “offline” vs really getting involved with the site. I wasn’t sure If I’d enjoy it, or if I’d fit in… or if I’d even be able to manage it. I honestly didn’t want to commit to it and look like an idiot if I failed.

But failing is a part of the process. 

And you never know if you’ll fail or succeed if you don’t put yourself out there and try.

October 15th.- Ranting

It’s this time, before Nanowrimo starts, that I start to stress and wonder if fighting with myself for an entire month is really worth the outcome….

I’ve already seen some people really bashing the whole “50,000 words in one 30 days” thing and talking about how un-creative it is to push yourself to complete a story that long, in such a short time.  Some of which are the same ones that bickered about it last year too (and probably the year before) and I’ve seen them really step on those of us that want to do it and find the challenge enjoyable.

What is the point?

If it’s not your thing, Cool! If it is, even Cooler! 🙂

But let’s try not to shove our opinions down someone else’s throat and belittle them.  It breaks my soul when I’ve been talking to someone (especially someone younger than me) and find out they had tried Nanowrimo once before and never finished it because they were being  picked on and made to feel like it really wasn’t that important, and that they were wasting their time. 😦

Your writing matters!

Weither you finishing the word goal or not, Nanowrimo can be such a helpful tool in the creative process of completing a novel.

And the community is well worth it too!

Even if you just join to make friends and follow your own word count goals, its worth it.

And BOO to anyone who say’s otherwise! lol

Why must we (as writers) explain our need to write?

Ok, so writing-related post here (of course, why am I even stating it?) I don’t know lol.

Anyway, writing.

Or better yet, What I’m writing these days.

Right now, I’m working on my next book series (7 in total) along with two other novels.  I’m hoping to have completed the 2 novels by the end of this year and to have most of my 7-book series, somewhat laid out and organized.

It’s honestly been rough trying to find the time (an energy) to sit down, relax my brain, and focus on my stories lately.

I’ve felt very stifled recently.

It seems the more I try to focus on my work, the more I’m needing to explain myself and the importance of my writing. I do believe no one really understands the creative process or how much it means to someone until they themselves have tried to create something they’re passionate about.

And It’s not like I’m completely shutting myself off from the world (even though I’d love to do that right about now). I’m honestly trying my hardest to balance it all.

Yes, I’m still young enough to believe it is fully possible to do what you love, hold a steady job (if it’s not your passion you’ve turned into a thriving business) and still manages to have an active social life.

I see all these writers on social media out having a blast with their friends, traveling to book conventions and enjoying writing seminaries, all while still managing to put out new content and publications.  And I’m always left feeling very underachieved and behind with the times.

And then having to justify why I want to spend an hour reading or why I like to spend time/money in a bookstore, just makes me even more irritated and frustrated with life.

Ugh!

Lol, I’m not mopping right, to be honest.

I’m just venting out my frustrations in the hope I’m not the only one dealing with these issues.

The life of a writer, I suppose.

Rant over lol

-Jen

It’s been a while….

So, I’m no longer in Georgia with access to a lovely poolside view 😔…

Nope, I’m currently in South Carolina! 🙌🏼 After staying for a month in a “ok” hotel, I’m now set up in a cute little farm house out in the boonies lol.

(Seriously, cell service and internet connection vary depending on the weather).

And speaking of weather.

For about 2 minutes it snowed down here yesterday! 😳 Yes, snowed.

Only after it rained all morning though and then when that brief 2 minutes of snow ended… the ice pellets began to fall and the roads became slip-n-slides.

Gotta love the south for their random weather 🤷🏻‍♀️😂

Here’s a little peak out my upstairs window.

More pictures to come as soon as I remove the work related photos from my SD card 👌🏼

Jen

Promoting myself… or something along that lines.

Slowly but surely I’m making myself seem more professional and less like a newbie who has no idea what they’re doing. 

I’m currently watching the tracking info and awaiting my box of freshly printed business cards! 😊

Now, I found that business cards for a novelist/ writer can be a touchy subject. Some people say Go for it! It’s a great little promotional tool that most writers over look…”

And then I find other articles that say it’s a “…waste of time and money…” 🤷🏻‍♀️  I guess it really all depends on your outlook.

Well, I’ve decided to give it a go anyway. (Props for being spontaneous Jen👏🏼)
I look at it this way, I have one book currently published and a couple more on the way…and I need to get my name and stories out there more. Currently I’m not doing so hot in the publicity area (more like sucking terribly at something I know hardly anything about)… 😞😒. 

So for me, the business cards will serve as a friendly, not so pushy way, to say “Here, check out my website” or “Yes, I’m on instagram. Follow me if you’d like.” 

Or “Hey I know a great editing service… it’s linked on my website…” 😊 there’s so many ways to slip your name out there 💚 without forking it down someone’s throat. Lol 

I personal feel like I have ample oppurtunites to hand out a card. Especially with starting my new job, people are always needing my number or work email for one thing or another… so why not take the opportunity to drop info on my other job?  

Granted, I can’t just walk around promoting my books when I should be focusing on my other duties. But if the opportunity presents itself, I’m going to take it!  

Now to just buckle down on the editing and set more of these little story ideas free 👩🏻‍💻

Jen